Food baby

Heheh :DDD

Today I went to Cosmo. We had buy one get one free vouchers from a newspaper, and I'm sure many other people did as well as it was packed full of chavs and students. I'm surprised I didn't see more Chinese people, as they usually jump at the chance of discounted food. I'm so full I can barely move out of my chair and it took a humungous effort to climb up the stairs. I hope no one punches my food baby as I think it would go into labour. Cosmo's this Chinese buffet place which is one step higher than Wing Wah, and when it first opened it was Really Nice, but now it's Kind of Manky. Although they do have nice starters and desserts- however me and my sister saw them prepare the little individual cakes by opening another packet of ready made cake and putting whipped cream on them. Haha. I love the Eton Mess (basically a load of cream and meringue and berries), and I had one of the first servings so it was untouched and really nice but I deliberately took my scoop straight from the middle to mess it up *giggle*. I'm waiting for the stomach to deflate.

I have a new, absolutely awful Physics teacher, and he is absolutely awful, I'm making my dad complain to the school about how absolutely awful he is at teaching. He has a really annoying Birmingham accent and NO CHIN, and he always dresses like a bartender and he's really creepy, and basically he hasn't taught my class anything, except that he has a guinea pig named Boris. I used to love Physics with my old teacher, but NOT ANYMORE. All he does is undo anything and everything we have already learnt, so now the Physics filing cabinet drawer in my brain is all mushed up and scrambled like an egg D: I am usually a model student, and usually sit attentively and try hard etc. but HE makes me deliberately shout out in class and ask stupid questions, so now he thinks I'm an idiot which I don't really care about cos I think that HE is an idiot. GAHH. Plus, he's bald. Why do I always end up with naff teachers? I also have rubbish English, Biology, Chemistry, IT and French teachers, although they aren't quite as terrible as Mr Roach (his name suits his sliminess). It hurts more when you used to have a great teacher and they get taken away from you. Who hires these crap teachers?

I feel the food coma coming on, you know- after eating excessive amounts of food, you get overcome with drowsiness. I may go to bed. Smell you later.

Today I missed the bus.




I didn't bother running for it because I knew my shoes would fly off and I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of the people on my bus. Even though none of us talk to each other, and we all sit there awkwardly with our iPods in our ears.

Once, I forgot my iPod and it was the most awkward hour ever. Under my seat, I started to make the awkward turtle hand sign. With one hand.

I never know where to look on the bus. I usually end up staring at a point past the person in front's head. Or reading the signs they put up around the bus (Got Chlamydia? Drop into the clinic!)- it's awfully kind of them to do that though. It's especially awkward when you're stuck among a strange group of people and they start talking around you but you don't want to look like you're listening in on their conversation.

Although the other day this really hot guy was "messing about" with this Year 7 and it was so funny that I couldn't stop laughing, but I was on my own so I was getting a lot of funny looks. When I'm walking on my own (which I of course, never am, being the socialite that I am), I often find myself thinking of a hilarious memory from earlier on, and start laughing to myself. Or I think of  ridiculously funny jokes/ observations, but there is no one to share them with me... so I laugh to myself.

Oh no, I see the first signs of dementia coming on.


When I'm eating as well, I always think of something disgusting that the food looks like, and completely put myself off my food. For instance, yesterday I was eating the school cottage pie and halfway through I realised it looked like diarrhoea. Was nearly sick. Although surprisingly when other people say disgusting things when I'm eating (vomit, bogies, periods etc.) I don't usually get put off. It's just when I think of it myself. Hmmmmm.


Haven't posted for a while.

It's the first of February.

My birthday is in exactly 20 days. I'm not doing anything for it.

I wanted to go to Cadbury's World but it costs too much and my parents say I would have to pay for it myself :( NO WAY. I'm broke.


Today I ate a whole bag of Lidl chocolate coated peanuts by myself. They were nice.

DO NOT TRUST AMAZON. EVER.

AMAZON.CO.UK CONNED ME.

I DID NOT KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR AMAZON PRIME AFTER YOUR FREE TRIAL ENDS.


NOW I DO.


Amazon Prime is where you get discount off your shipping prices, but I DON'T EVEN USE AMAZON THAT MUCH.

THEY STOLE £49 FROM ME. That was basically all of my savings.

AARGH.

I AM SO ANGRY I KICKED MY WARDROBE AND NOW MY BIG TOE IS THROBBING.


I HATE AMAZON. I HATE AMAZON. I HATE AMAZON.

Can't even get a full refund because I HAD to go buy a statistics revision guide :@:@:@:@:@:@:@

SO ANGRY.




That reminds me. I have mocks next week and I haven't revised. Oh no.

Cheerios.

Yesterday at school, my trousers split. Right over the crotch area. Because I was trying to do splits across two tables. Which meant I couldn't sit like a man as per usual (slouched low in chair, legs open), and had to sit like a lady with my legs crossed, for once. MAJOR CRINGE, that's all I have to say.


Why is there no cheese in this house?

We're having a new kitchen fitted in our house, so all of our food is strewn about in random places. Today I found a string of sausages hanging across the cupboard-under-the-stairs, and a box of Cheerios on top of the piano. No wonder I cannot find any decent food to eat. Sometimes I feel like making myself a cheese-and-tomato toastie with my new George Foreman Lean-Mean-Fat-Reducing-Grilling-Machine, but there is NO CHEESE. How are you supposed to make a toastie with NO CHEESE? It'll just fall apart.

Speaking of Cheerios, they're really nice with toffee yoghurt. Try it.


Revising Maths is so much easier with MathsWatch. Contrary to what my friends say, the woman's voice is quite soothing and not at all annoying, in my opinion. I've learnt waay more in the past coupla days than in the past coupla YEARS with my (no longer bearded) Maths teacher. Maths has never been so fun.

Here are the lyrics to the Maths Club song I learnt in Year 7. It helps me a lot during exams.

2.2 whole pounds of jam

Weigh about a kilogram.

A litre of water

Is a pint and three quarters.

And a yard is 3 feet long.

16 ounces in a pound.

2 pi r the distance round.

A cubic decimetre

Is exactly one whole litre.

Now we'll never get that wrong.

When we are squaring

We take lots of care in

The units we get.

Ten thousand m squared is just off a hectare.

Now we'll never forget.

A thousand kilos make a ton.

14 pounds are in a stone.

A million cubic centimetres

In a cubic metre.

It's a maths group unit song... yeah!

This song has been stuck in my head on repeat for years now.

I SUCK

I only posted 1 blog in December. And 4 in November. And 6 in total. Not including this one. That is shameful. Especially compared to WANDOLIN, leader of the WANDESTRA (of which I am lead violinist, despite my awful skills). LOOK AT THAT GIRL GO.

Look at the title, that is all I have to say.

Milk Tea

GUESS WHO'S BACK IN DA HOOD?

Actually I was back 5 days ago. But I couldn't be bothered to go on the computer. Pssshh. I love waking up at 6am every day and watching back to back episodes of different TV series on CBBC. Yesterday it was MI High, which I used to obsessively watch in Year 7. Only cos Blaine was really hot. The other day it was Dani's House, which is actually really funny.


So beautiful.

 Currently still vairy tired and jet lagged (how is that still possible?) so have been rejecting all offers of various New Years sales shopping trips- much as it kills me, cos I do love a good bargain hunt around January time- and "chilling in the park" (literally, with this weather) Why am I so lazy? I even could not be bothered to see my friend who only returns to England from Australia twice a year. The ultimate betrayal especially since I first journeyed the path of Harry Potter with her: we had our own Harry Potter dance, had conversations purely with Harry Potter quotes, pulled all-nighters watching Harry Potter... as you do. *Sigh*.



When did I become so... uncool?!!!



Hrrumph. Must. Get. Out.



On another note, my mama is still in la Chine. I miss her lots and lots because my dad doesn't fold my clothes neatly into squares or make my bed :(   On our plane back from Chiner, the plane was half empty (or half full, depending on which way you want to look at it) and I had a whole row to myself so I lay down across the 3 seats to sleep. It was a blissful relief from the earlier drama in the airport when me and my dad's shared suitcase amounted to 40kg, which apparently is not allowed even though we were sharing the luggage weight allowance between two people. My dad started shouting angrily at the dudes who worked there, and it was scary. The hardcore scar in his eyebrow was twitching (apparently he got it from wrestling a snake. I'm not sure whether to believe it or not).

This trip to China was unbelievably depressing. We just visited my grandma in hospital, and other than that stayed in my grandmother's flat with NO CENTRAL HEATING and it was bloody FREEZING. My record was wearing 7 tops, a cardigan, hoodie, gilet and coat, all at once. No wonder my cousins thought I put on loads of weight (that's true, although I just laughed and told them "of course it's all the clothes that I'm wearing.") My sister was being extremely dull and revising for her exams. PAH.

I was VERY shocked by the conditions in the Chinese hospital. The first day we got there, there were loads of beds in the corridor with sick people on them as there were not spare rooms, but luckily my parents paid for my grandmamma to have a 'luxury' room with air con. That was a joke. It was really dirty, the nurses didn't change the bed sheets,and they only cleaned once a day. I am so glad I brought a lot of disinfectant and hand sanitiser with me.

In China, the nurses and doctors do NOTHING for the patients except give them medicine, so my mum and her brother had to take it in turns to sit with my 家家(grandma, in Sichuanese) all the time, and change her clothes, adult nappies, empty her wee bag, clean her, feed her, get replace her IV- EVERYTHING. I don't know how my mum coped doing that for 2 weeks straight, with only a few naps during the day. I admire her. Basically in China, the family have to do everything, and if you got no family... well, you're stuffed.

The same goes with funerals. This gets even more depressing, so I'll put it in another post. On a brighter note, I was able to drink a lot of dericious MILK TEA, as endorsed by Jay Chou. Mmmm, my favourite, but don't try the strawberry flavour as it is SO sickly.




I agree, Jay Chou.

 

What?

It's been a while since I last posted  but I have literally had NO time, what with watching TV and rekindling my love for Sims 3 D: I used to have a family called Weasley, but there were too many of them (9!), so they starved to death and couldn't get enough sleep as I could only afford 3 beds. So then Ron went solo in a new town and didn't exercise, consequently becoming OBESE. He was a chef. He made it to the top. I was proud. That reminds me, I need to get the new expansion packs. They look awesome.

OH YEAH, guess who's poorly and has a piano exam in 40 hours? It's in London. Camden. All yo Londoners shud check me out. I'll be hanging wid my dad, yo. The exam's at 2.45pm however my dad bought off-peak tickets so we aren't leaving til 8. We shall be going to Oxford Street afterwards, although I wanted to go to Camden Market :( but I'm too scared to take my dad there. Also, I am petrified about dis exam becoz I don't feel prepared AT ALL. I'm no good at public speaking and I have to do a sort of presentation thing on my pieces. I even stutter when I'm talking to myself about it. I think I'm developing a permanent stutter, especially when I talk to other people. Like Professor Quirrell. Except mine isn't faked. My dad wants to enrol me into Speech Therapy classes at the hospital... doesn't he know they're for people who recently had strokes? I don't think I've had a stroke...

Although, when I was doing work experience at the hospital a month ago, I was helping out at this cardiac rehabilitation program for heart surgery dudes and I read this pamphlet about heart attacks and I had all the symptoms. Tightness in the chest. Little feeling in my left arm. Shortness of breath. Lightheadedness. Nausea (although that was after I realised I had many of the other symptoms). The cardiac rehab guy started to talk to me in Cantonese- he was Pakistani. It was surreal. Then I said I didn't speak Cantonese, so he switched to Mando. And we had a conversation about fried noodles. Best experience ever. Turns out he was raised in Hong Kong, and speaks with his sister in a mixture of Punjabi, Canto and English :S I thought his voice and accent sounded a bit like Ka's.

OH YEAH, and guess who's going to la Chine on Wednesday? That's right. Twice in a year. Only this time won't be as fun. My grandmother had a brain haemorrhage on Tuesday. My mum and sister are already there and appaz it's FREEZING. My sister is dying without her hand sanitiser so I have to bring her loads when we get to China on Thursday. Is it wrong that while my grandmother is in hospital, all I want to do is go shopping and get a haircut? My hair is disgusting and dry and awfully dyed. Damn you Sarah Wong and Wendy Zhao if you're reading this. Should NOT have done my hair in a dormitory bathroom in China. Too scared to dye it again lest I kill my hair further.

That's it. I hate Bach, that wily curly haired minx. Why did he have to go and make his music so damn hard to play? I also hate Beethoven. And Chopin. I like Justin Bieber. Gutted I didn't get tickets for his UK tour next year.

The builders doing the extension on our house left crumbs on the dining table :( I had to clean them up. Have you tried those new Walkers Extra Crunchy Crisps? They are deLISH. Kinda like Kettle Chips, but not as sweet. And still tasting like Walkers. This Indian guy on my bus gave me them cos I taught him how to complete a Rubix Cube.

10.20 IS PAST MY BEDTIME. GOODNIGHT.